The Good Life

Lane, lounging poolside.

A few weeks ago, an e-mail from my mom appeared in my inbox. After a long, hard day at work, she'd come here to catch a glimpse of her grandson. She needed a little pick-me-up.

After reading the day's post, her mood quickly changed. She was grinning from ear to ear, she wrote. While she loved what I had to say that day, seeing Lane made her smile.

In her words, I found a sense of accomplishment.

I created this blog for her. Living 70 miles away, the only way she can see Lane each day is to look at the pictures I post. However, while this project might have started for her, it has evolved in to so much more.

It is a way for Papa and I to remember while at the same time sharing our memories with friends and family. It has become a tool that I use to express myself.

And many of you have told me that it is an inspiration and testament to motherhood.

My mom's e-mail continued. She told me that she is so happy that "I get it." It being motherhood. She continued telling me how she knows all of our grandparents must be watching over James and I and saying what a good job we are doing as parents.

Our son, she said, is proof of that.

That's when I felt proud.

James and I have formed a theory in the 18 months since becoming parents. It's our theory, and works for us, so feel free to disagree.

We truly believe that mama's tend to mother much like their own mama's. These are the women we look to for guidance, inspiration and assistance. Our own childhood memories are where we go when we begin to mother our own children.

For me, this meant nursing my babe for the first year of his life - like my own mama did with her children. It also meant leaving behind my career to stay home full time and care for Lane - like my own mama did.

It means filling our days with fun and educational activities outside the home that do not include TV and do include a lot of energy, imagination and other children. It requires home prepared meals shared with the entire family. We end our days together - with Lane close to us, in our home, asleep in his own bed.

These are not parenting principles we formed while pregnant. We fell naturally in to the way we do things.

And, we don't think negatively of parents who choose different principles than our own. We understand that each mama and papa has to do what is best for them as individuals and as a family.

When new parents or parents-to-be ask us for advice, such as, where did your child sleep; did you nurse; will you put him in preschool, we happily tell them about the decisions we made and why we made these decisions.

We also tell them not to worry about what other parents think. Ask for advice. Request help. Then do what feels natural. Go with your heart and your instinct.

The way you parent your child will come to you naturally.

This, I believe, is the key to happy and healthy parenting. And, is the reason my mom's e-mail meant so much to me.

I am honored that my mom thinks I am a good mama. I think she was one of the best mom's to walk this Earth. I love her. Each day, I try to emulate her life as a mama.

However, to say I try hard would be a lie. I just take each moment of each day as it comes to us.

Like yesterday, we headed to the pool early for Lane's swimming lessons. We came home for a long morning nap. After lunch, we went back to the pool for the afternoon. We ended the evening at home for dinner and a few more hours outside playing with papa.

I must confess, we've got a pretty good life.