Lucky

Yesterday afternoon, Papa called, "Mama, bring the camera."
When I walked outside, Lane was attempting to climb on top of his tractor.
In the last week, he's taken a great liking to anything with a steering wheel.

As we sat and watched our boy contemplate how to climb to the seat to get to the wheel, Papa said, "We sure are lucky."

"Why's that," I asked.

"Because we have this boy," he said. "Think about the last year of our life. It's been so great because of him."

"Really," he continued, "the last two years. Can you imagine if we had not had him. If you had not gotten pregnant."

"I know," I told him.

And then Papa told me that in that moment there on our back deck watching our babe play he felt all that love and luck fill up inside of him.

Tomorrow, I celebrate a birthday. I am reminded of birthday pasts.

Papa and I made the decision to expand our two-person family shortly after my 29th birthday.

As my next birthday approached, we were no closer to three.

That year, I celebrated 30 in Mexico. Not a bad way to make the transition from my 20s.

With the mariachi music playing and a cake in front of me, I made this birthday wish as I blew out the candles:

please let me get pregnant.

The morning of my 31st birthday, James and I sat in front of a doctor at a fertility clinic. It had been a long year filled with heart ache and disappointment.

That afternoon, my co-workers (and wonderful friends) Frances, Laura and Tara surprised me with a yummy birthday cake.

I made the same wish as the previous year - only with one little revision - just in case precision is needed in the birthday wish department:

please let me get pregnant within the next year.

A few days later, James and I headed off for another exotic beach vacation. While we were there, we made a decision regarding our future.

We would take it easy. Take a few months off to enjoy the holidays. We would regroup after the new year.

I'd been seeing an acupuncturist for the last month to help ease the side effects of the fertility drugs. I would continue to go once a week - for my own well being.

When January rolled around, I just could not do it. I wasn't ready to take on the task of more treatments. I had found a peaceful place with my situation. I needed more time.

Then February and March - and I continued to remain calm, focused and at the acupuncturist's office once or twice a week.

In April, we learned my wish was coming true. There was a babe growing in my womb.

Last November, I was 37 weeks pregnant on my 32nd birthday. In 15 days, I would be given the best gift of my life. Our son.

As James and I celebrated quietly at home with the dogs, I made my wish

please let me have a safe delivery and a healthy baby boy.

My wish came true.

This year, I'm wondering what I will wish for as I blow out my candles.

I've got everything I always wanted.

I'm that lucky.